How to Give Your Parents Advice That They Will Actually Listen To, Ep # 285

Giving advice to your parents can be a challenge both for you and for them. However, there comes a time when the roles reverse and our parents may need to hear our practical advice. If you have been wondering how to go about doing this you’re not alone.

This week we’ll explore a retirement headline from Francine Russo at WSJ titled How to Give Your Parents Advice That They Will Actually Listen To. And to continue with the parent-child relationship theme we’ll answer a listener question about moving to be near the kids and grandkids in retirement. Don’t miss out on this helpful episode. Press play now.

There comes a time when the roles reverse and our parents may need to hear our practical advice. Click To Tweet

Outline of This Episode

[1:12] How to give your parents advice
[6:32] On moving to be closer to adult children and grandchildren

What to consider before giving advice to your parents

When parents reach a certain age the tables turn and the child must find ways to help the parent. This can be challenging when the parents are the ones accustomed to giving advice rather than receiving it. Francine Russo’s article offers helpful tips on how to go about giving advice to elderly parents.

Adjust your attitude. Think about the best way to give advice. Nobody likes to be patronized, so make sure that you are empathetic and respectful.
Consider your reasons. Ask yourself if you are offering advice simply to show them how grown up you are or if your parents truly need help.
Manage your emotions. A lifetime of feelings factor into the parent-child relationship. This can make many conversations emotionally tense. Try to prepare yourself in advance mentally for the conversation.
Factor in your relationship. If you have a historically challenging relationship, think about how your feelings factor into your advice.
Explore questions together. Rather than presenting your parents with all the answers, open up a dialogue where you can think things through together. This can increase your empathy and remove the risk of sounding patronizing.
Recognize their sacrifices. Be empathetic of any major life changes that your parents are going through.
Enlist the help of others. If your parents won’t accept your advice, look to people they trust and respect to see if they could help.
Learn when to back off. Your parents may need to hear your argument multiple times before accepting it. Try again another time or learn to come at the issue from a different angle.

Look to people they trust and respect to see if they could help. Click To Tweet

My thoughts

It can be hard for both parties to have these types of conversations. However, waiting too long could create worse outcomes than an uncomfortable conversation.

If you wait for your parents to ask for help they may never do so–it can be hard for them to let go of their pride to ask for help.

Let your parents know that you are there to help or to be a resource for them to lean on when they need you. Helping your parents plan their future could give them a better quality of life.

Waiting too long could create worse outcomes than an uncomfortable conversation. Click To Tweet

Are you ready to continue your retirement education?

Don’t miss out on the response to our listener question that goes hand in hand with today’s retirement headline. Bret and I explore the pros and cons of moving to be closer to your adult children and grandchildren in retirement.

If you have been listening for a while you may want to dive deeper into retirement planning and tax topics. If so, head on over to RetirementIncome.University to continue your educational journey leading to your ideal retirement.